I gave up social media for Lent. Here’s what happened.

“You can’t see the whole picture from inside the frame.” — Les Brown

“What are you writing mom? A story about giving up social media?” My 10-year-old son asked, peeking at my laptop over my shoulder.

“Yes. Kind of. Not a story as much as a piece about what happened,” I replied.

“Well, what happened?”

“I’m not really sure,” I said. “I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

“Well, I can tell you what happened, you weren’t on your phone as much,” he said. “So that’s good.”

I didn’t realize I was on my phone that much. I thought I was more of a bathtub scroller. An end-of-the-night, bubbles poured, warm water flowing, numbing out the stress of the day and relaxing while flipping through Facebook reels of cute puppies and dancing celebrities. But there were some nights when an hour would pass, and my toes would turn wrinkly before my husband would pop his head in and ask if I was OK. And I would look at the clock and realize how much time had passed without even knowing that much time had passed. If I’m honest, I also reached for my phone to check Facebook between meetings and emails and sometimes even in traffic. I reached for it more than I would have liked to.

So I gave it up for 40 days – well almost, I promised to push out a podcast on socials that I had been invited to be on, and I did that. I gave it up for 39 days. I was mostly a Facebook connoisseur. I dipped my toes into Instagram but never posted anything. I have a Twitter account but barely use it. And I do use LinkedIn occasionally for work.

I abstained from all of them except LinkedIn during work hours.

And. It. Was. Awesome.

For me, social media made the world feel smaller. I have bad FOMO when it comes to traveling, and the Facebook algorithms must sense that because it felt like everyone was on a cool trip except me. When I regularly checked social media, the local news felt scary and made me angry and protective. And at the height of the anger about increased crime in our city, I commented on two separate group texts to two separate group of moms, making the whole thread awkward after jumping on my proverbial soapbox to demand that we all make our city safer.

Without social media, I missed out on the virtual support I know I would have received when we put our almost 16-year-old dog to sleep at the beginning of March. Without social media, I missed some important theater announcements for my daughter, but thankfully, my husband kept me in the loop, texting me screenshots of the posts. Without social media, I missed the news of a helicopter crash, claiming the life of a local police officer I knew.

BUT.

Without social media, the world felt bigger and freer. I spent more time reaching out to friends and family members via phone or text. I sought out news on reputable news outlets, once per day. I started a new investigative news project – interviewing people about crime, learning about the why, trying to understand where the issues started. I told my closest friends and family about our sweet dog, Sushi. And the support was beautiful and tangible. One sweet friend sent flowers, another sent cookies.

Without social media, I scrolled through the reel of photos on my phone, remembering all our family trips and outings. I didn’t have the fear of missing out. I felt gratitude for all the memories we made together.

Without social media, I meditated more. I didn’t reach for my phone in the morning or at night. Instead, I watched each sunrise and each sunset, setting intentions and affirmations for the day. My breaks during the day led me outside to lounge for a few minutes in my hammock, listening to the birds sing and marveling at the bluebird skies and the fluorescent green leaves of the newly sprung oak trees. I felt less anxious, more connected. I learned to trust my instincts more. I had some difficult conversations that I may not have had before. I lost a couple of friends online. I gained more in real life.

I got back on Facebook this weekend for the first time in 40 days – oops 39 days – and I had a few friend requests, and lots of notifications. I took a few minutes to scroll, saving pictures of my kids that their school had posted, sharing important posts on my personal page, commenting on a few friends’ Easter posts and then I was done.

Did I miss it? Not really.

Will I use it? I’m sure I will but it’s going to be very intentional and purposeful because my days of wrinkly bathtub scrolling are over.

No matter how cute those puppies are. 😊

April 9, 2023